Week Seven Bears Recap: A Game That Needed To Be Viewed On Fast Forward
I was, lo and behold, at another friggin' wedding this weekend. Jesus Christ. Everyone just calm down with the nuptials. So while I got to watch all of the 1:00 (Eastern) games on Sunday at some chain sports bar in a mall, the Bears were a 4:15 start and by then I was sitting on the tarmac at the Indianapolis International Airport. I didn't know if a six-seat prop plane going to Michigan's Upper Peninsula qualifies as an international flight, but that is not the point.
The point is I had to record the Bears game at home on my DVR, which stands for Digital Video Recorder. It's a poor man's Tivo and since I spent my life savings on a 52-inch High-Definition TV, I can't afford the High-Def Tivo box. The ghetto-ass Comcast DVR works like a Tivo but without all the great little things, like season passes and that sound effect.
So I got back to DC on Sunday night and had to watch the Bears game fast. The White Sox are in the World Series and it is still surreal to me. I can't imagine a Chicago team without the services of Michael Jordan or Mike Ditka's mustache winning a title. My apologies to the Chicago Fire.
Watching the Bears game on fast forward turned out to be a blessing. This was an ugly, ugly game. It was raining. The field was sloppy. On fast forward, the Bears looked like they were on speed. In reality, I think it was a morphine drip.
And it looked cold. And not that good, Bear weather cold. Just wet and miserable. At one point CBS cut to a shot of the stands and I noticed a big guy making it back to his seat carrying nachos. Nachos? They were getting rained on! Now I like nachos as much as the next guy, but there are limits. I don't know. I guess I'm confused. Do I respect this guy for going for rain-soaked nachos with a no doubt ice-cold, pseudo-cheese garnish? Maybe. I can't decide. I suspect he has problems.
A couple serious thoughts: when will Thomas Jones stop being good? I'm scared. The defense is awesome. The Bears are the only team in the league who haven't given up a rushing touchdown. We have a platoon of defensive lineman, all of whom could start.
After the game, when I tried to put my thoughts together, I was surprised to find myself completely uninspired again. Chicago winning 10-6 couldn't feel this bad. That would make two unfulfilling Bears wins in a row, a feat on par with DiMaggio’s 56-game hit streak. Maybe by watching it on fast-forward I just obtained an Über-appreciation for the ineptitude of both offenses. All of the bad plays were smashed together by some evil editing machine. Yeah, that had to be it. The Bears are 3-3 and in first place in the NFC North. Things are great, right?
Then I went to work Monday morning. Everyone, even my fellow Chicagoans, was making fun of the Bears. One guy said it was the type of game you could only watch if you were a former punter or related to Thomas Jones. Everyone laughed and laughed. It was almost as funny as Al Roker getting knocked over by a hurricane on the Today Show.
But screw them (and Al Roker). I'm gonna keep watching. The Bears are at Detroit next week in a battle for that vaunted NFC North first place. Yep, that morphine drip is nice and addictive.
The point is I had to record the Bears game at home on my DVR, which stands for Digital Video Recorder. It's a poor man's Tivo and since I spent my life savings on a 52-inch High-Definition TV, I can't afford the High-Def Tivo box. The ghetto-ass Comcast DVR works like a Tivo but without all the great little things, like season passes and that sound effect.
So I got back to DC on Sunday night and had to watch the Bears game fast. The White Sox are in the World Series and it is still surreal to me. I can't imagine a Chicago team without the services of Michael Jordan or Mike Ditka's mustache winning a title. My apologies to the Chicago Fire.
Watching the Bears game on fast forward turned out to be a blessing. This was an ugly, ugly game. It was raining. The field was sloppy. On fast forward, the Bears looked like they were on speed. In reality, I think it was a morphine drip.
And it looked cold. And not that good, Bear weather cold. Just wet and miserable. At one point CBS cut to a shot of the stands and I noticed a big guy making it back to his seat carrying nachos. Nachos? They were getting rained on! Now I like nachos as much as the next guy, but there are limits. I don't know. I guess I'm confused. Do I respect this guy for going for rain-soaked nachos with a no doubt ice-cold, pseudo-cheese garnish? Maybe. I can't decide. I suspect he has problems.
A couple serious thoughts: when will Thomas Jones stop being good? I'm scared. The defense is awesome. The Bears are the only team in the league who haven't given up a rushing touchdown. We have a platoon of defensive lineman, all of whom could start.
After the game, when I tried to put my thoughts together, I was surprised to find myself completely uninspired again. Chicago winning 10-6 couldn't feel this bad. That would make two unfulfilling Bears wins in a row, a feat on par with DiMaggio’s 56-game hit streak. Maybe by watching it on fast-forward I just obtained an Über-appreciation for the ineptitude of both offenses. All of the bad plays were smashed together by some evil editing machine. Yeah, that had to be it. The Bears are 3-3 and in first place in the NFC North. Things are great, right?
Then I went to work Monday morning. Everyone, even my fellow Chicagoans, was making fun of the Bears. One guy said it was the type of game you could only watch if you were a former punter or related to Thomas Jones. Everyone laughed and laughed. It was almost as funny as Al Roker getting knocked over by a hurricane on the Today Show.
But screw them (and Al Roker). I'm gonna keep watching. The Bears are at Detroit next week in a battle for that vaunted NFC North first place. Yep, that morphine drip is nice and addictive.
posted by David Stassen at 5:46 PM
