Week Two Bears Recap
This is going to have to be a short one since it’s so late in the week and I need to start mentally preparing for Cincinnati. Plus, I’m going out for a big seafood dinner in an hour.
I watched the Bears-Lions game at home in Chicago and it was a real treat because I got to see the post-game show on Fox hosted by Corey McPherron and Tom Waddle. McPherron is hilarious. He just plain sucks so bad you have to enjoy it. He literally asks questions like, “Lance Briggs, you guys were just plain out of sight today. Would you guys say this is an out of sight win?”
Lance Briggs, “Most definitely. Most definitely…”
Tom Waddle is actually pretty good. And they brought the Loop commercials back with the fat guy dancing in front of the brick wall. Those were good commercials.
The Lions sucks. Their fans are pathetic. They actually traveled to Chicago for the game. What a bunch of losers. I hate people from Detroit. I was there for a wedding two weeks ago and that city sucks. Their claim to fame is being across the river from Windsor, Ontario where you can gamble and go whoring. Let’s not forget this is the city that embraced Bill Lambeir. One win against the Packers and every analyst on TV was ready to give them the NFC North.
Anyway, this game was weird. I don’t think the Bears are this good, but I think they can win the division. Orton on the road, getting blitzed is going to be the problem all season. But we really dominated. Not even in 2001 did we win games like this. Every win that season was a close one. Brian Urlacher had to catch a touchdown pass on a fake field goal just to beat the Redskins that season. I don’t think Urlacher played in the fourth quarter against the Lions last week.
Here are some random thoughts:
Joe Buck sucks. He was really enjoying talking about the White Sox collapse. I bet he walks around the Cardinals club house in high heels and lipstick and has to submit to mandatory jam sessions with Jim Edmonds and Albert Pujols.
That hit on Marcus Pollard by Mike Brown was awesome. In the replay there is a fat guy in the background cheering as Pollard’s leg bends backward 90 degrees and his body goes limp. Awesome.
It reminded of me of the drunk guy eating ice cream in “Come Fly With Me.” After a great Jordan dunk, they cut to this fat, drunk, Latino guy in the front row. That’s how long ago this is. There’s actually a working class Latino guy within 300 feet of the Bulls court. I’m not being racist. I’m pointing out the injustice. Anyway, this guy is wasted and enjoying an ice cream sundae. He’s cheering with his free hand and goes down to get another bite of delicious dulce de leche, but decides to cheer a little more since he is on camera. Brian, Ike and I used to watch this cheer-to-ice cream-to-cheer move on slo-mo in high school. That and the Mike Tomszak guitar solo in the Super Bowl Shuffle got us through some lonely nights.
Bears against the spread: 2-0. This week they’re 3 1/2 point home dogs.
The Vikes will win big this week, despite Mike Tice’s tiny caveman brain. Patriots lose at Pittsburgh when it doesn’t matter (September). The Colts (-14 vs. Cleveland) cover and Manning throws 17 touchdown passes.
One last thought:
Bears 27, Bengals 13.
I watched the Bears-Lions game at home in Chicago and it was a real treat because I got to see the post-game show on Fox hosted by Corey McPherron and Tom Waddle. McPherron is hilarious. He just plain sucks so bad you have to enjoy it. He literally asks questions like, “Lance Briggs, you guys were just plain out of sight today. Would you guys say this is an out of sight win?”
Lance Briggs, “Most definitely. Most definitely…”
Tom Waddle is actually pretty good. And they brought the Loop commercials back with the fat guy dancing in front of the brick wall. Those were good commercials.
The Lions sucks. Their fans are pathetic. They actually traveled to Chicago for the game. What a bunch of losers. I hate people from Detroit. I was there for a wedding two weeks ago and that city sucks. Their claim to fame is being across the river from Windsor, Ontario where you can gamble and go whoring. Let’s not forget this is the city that embraced Bill Lambeir. One win against the Packers and every analyst on TV was ready to give them the NFC North.
Anyway, this game was weird. I don’t think the Bears are this good, but I think they can win the division. Orton on the road, getting blitzed is going to be the problem all season. But we really dominated. Not even in 2001 did we win games like this. Every win that season was a close one. Brian Urlacher had to catch a touchdown pass on a fake field goal just to beat the Redskins that season. I don’t think Urlacher played in the fourth quarter against the Lions last week.
Here are some random thoughts:
Joe Buck sucks. He was really enjoying talking about the White Sox collapse. I bet he walks around the Cardinals club house in high heels and lipstick and has to submit to mandatory jam sessions with Jim Edmonds and Albert Pujols.
That hit on Marcus Pollard by Mike Brown was awesome. In the replay there is a fat guy in the background cheering as Pollard’s leg bends backward 90 degrees and his body goes limp. Awesome.
It reminded of me of the drunk guy eating ice cream in “Come Fly With Me.” After a great Jordan dunk, they cut to this fat, drunk, Latino guy in the front row. That’s how long ago this is. There’s actually a working class Latino guy within 300 feet of the Bulls court. I’m not being racist. I’m pointing out the injustice. Anyway, this guy is wasted and enjoying an ice cream sundae. He’s cheering with his free hand and goes down to get another bite of delicious dulce de leche, but decides to cheer a little more since he is on camera. Brian, Ike and I used to watch this cheer-to-ice cream-to-cheer move on slo-mo in high school. That and the Mike Tomszak guitar solo in the Super Bowl Shuffle got us through some lonely nights.
Bears against the spread: 2-0. This week they’re 3 1/2 point home dogs.
The Vikes will win big this week, despite Mike Tice’s tiny caveman brain. Patriots lose at Pittsburgh when it doesn’t matter (September). The Colts (-14 vs. Cleveland) cover and Manning throws 17 touchdown passes.
One last thought:
Bears 27, Bengals 13.
posted by David Stassen at 5:49 PM
