Week 11 NFL Picks: Rigoddamndiculous

Are you happy? I'm finally under .500. You know what that calls for? That's right... OPPOSITE PICK WEEK.

Like the legendary George Costanza, if every instinct I have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. Let it rain!

Home team in CAPS

Falcons lose in consecutive weeks to Detroit and Cleveland. Michael Vick has learned how to fumble without anyone actually touching him. Steve McNair could not be stopped in his homecoming in Tennessee last week. Yeah, definitely the Falcons.
Atlanta +4 over BALTIMORE

Houston has six of their 22 wins in franchise history against those pool-busting Jags. Buffalo is 3-6 and has to be disheartened after losing a close one in Indy last week. Go Bills!
Buffalo +1.5 over HOUSTON

As I was driving home from work today I swear I decided to take the Jets. I still thought the Bears were going to win, but those plucky J-E-T-S would keep it close. Now, well, now it's Bears who cover.
Chicago -8 over NEW YORK JETS

Saints lost a heartbreaker in Steel City but had a chance to win against the champs. They're really tough at home while the Bungals continue to throw away a perfectly good season. Who dey?
Cincinnati +3 over NEW ORLEANS

Miami is getting hot down the stretch again. Minnesota and Check Down Johnson are in a classic freefall that would make any NFC North rival happy. Let's go Vikes.
Minnesota +3 over MIAMI

My gut says the Patriots. I hate my guts.
GREEN BAY +7 over New England

Those Raiders keep losing and losing and losing. Chiefs at home, no matter who the quarterback, you gotta like their chances. Just cover, baby.
Oakland +10.5 over Kansas City

Browns beat Atlanta last week so maybe they're not the dawgs but I would expect the Steelers to win and I am wrong more often than I am right. Therefore...
Cleveland +3 over Pittsburgh

I thought this was a big spread and the Panthers were getting too much respect for beating a bad Buccaneers squad. I always expect the Ram to play close ones. Carolina in a blowout.
CAROLINA -7.5 over St. Louis

Normally I would take a dawg in such a huge spread, but the Eagles versus the Titans? McNabb v. Young? Piece of cake for Philly, right? Opposite day says...
Tennessee +14 over PHILADELPHIA

First start for QB Jason Campbell against that veteran Tampa Bay defense. Bruce "pass the kielbasa" Gradkowski has been tough at home... 'Skins in the upset, baby!
Washington +3 over TAMPA BAY

This has been one of the all-time most disappointing seasons in NFL history for the Cardinals. They were not even the "sleeper" pick to start the season. They were going to compete for playoff seeding. Now? They stink. Let's take 'em.
ARIZONA -1.5 over Detroit

This is a pretty tight line for the defending NFC champs who have a really good back-up QB in Seneca Wallace just in case Matt Hasselbeck goes down again. Let's take the Niners.
SAN FRANCISCO +4 over Seattle

The Colts seem to play to the level of their opponent, getting up for the Patriots and Broncos and squeaking by the Titans and Bills. They should be hyped to play T.O. in the Big D... I like the Cowboys' chances.
DALLAS +2 over Indianapolis

You have to be impressed with the Chargers' first victory over a team with a winning record last week. Denver and Jake Plummer continue to do the bare minimum to get by. Chargers have that offensive juggernaut and the Broncos have nothing to match. Let's go Donkeys.
DENVER -2 over San Diego

Man the Giants are banged up. Boo-hoo. Isn't life so unfair?
New York Giants +3 over JACKSONVILLE

Last week: 5-11
The Indefinitely Suspended Uncle Dave's Stink Free Diaper Pick of the Week: 1-6
Overall: 62-66-1