Week 13 Bears Recap: Lovie, Can You Hear Me?
I have here a document for public consumption. More specifically, it is for Lovie Smith, head coach of the Chicago Bears.
Lovie, if the following statements were made within earshot of you, you might begin to question keeping Rex Grossman as your starting quarterback.
But they weren't. They were made to me, or within my general direction, and I need to pass them on to you.
Lovie, just read these statements made since Rex Grossman threw three more interceptions and the Bears defense and special teams had to again bail out the team against an inferior opponent.
Some of the comments are trivial or silly, but they were made with all sincerity. And that is where the problem lies. If you can say some of these things printed below and really mean them, then your team is having an issue at quarterback.
At least think about it, Lovie...
"You know that Kyle Orton really could manage a football game."
-When you start pining for the Throat Hair Orton era, you might be in trouble.
"Rex Grossman is basically a great field position punter."
-The only problem with this statement is that only half of Grossman's interceptions are deep balls. The other half travel about four yards before gently settling in the belly of an opposing linebacker.
"Can Devin Hester play quarterback?"
-I actually have no problem with this statement. Maybe he can. We should look into this.
"What is Grossman? 5'10?"
-They list him at 6'1. I know 6'1 and he, sir, is no 6'1. And who doesn't love a Lloyd Benson-Dan Quayle reference in 2006?
"Oh my God these jalapeno cheese fries are amazing."
-They were really good, Lovie. I recommend.
"Didn't Brian Griese win a national championship in college?"
-He did. But so did Craig Krenzel so don't take too much stock in that.
"I thought the Vikings had, like, the worst pass defense in the league."
-Now that's not fair to Rex. Minnesota had the SECOND worst pass defense in the league.
"I liked it when we played the Jets and Grossman never threw a pass more than five yards."
-Yeah, dems were the good 'ol days.
"Dude, you got a lemon in your beer? Who are you?"
-Lovie, Grossman is the lemon in our beer. The lemon in our beer.
Lovie, if the following statements were made within earshot of you, you might begin to question keeping Rex Grossman as your starting quarterback.
But they weren't. They were made to me, or within my general direction, and I need to pass them on to you.
Lovie, just read these statements made since Rex Grossman threw three more interceptions and the Bears defense and special teams had to again bail out the team against an inferior opponent.
Some of the comments are trivial or silly, but they were made with all sincerity. And that is where the problem lies. If you can say some of these things printed below and really mean them, then your team is having an issue at quarterback.
At least think about it, Lovie...
"You know that Kyle Orton really could manage a football game."
-When you start pining for the Throat Hair Orton era, you might be in trouble.
"Rex Grossman is basically a great field position punter."
-The only problem with this statement is that only half of Grossman's interceptions are deep balls. The other half travel about four yards before gently settling in the belly of an opposing linebacker.
"Can Devin Hester play quarterback?"
-I actually have no problem with this statement. Maybe he can. We should look into this.
"What is Grossman? 5'10?"
-They list him at 6'1. I know 6'1 and he, sir, is no 6'1. And who doesn't love a Lloyd Benson-Dan Quayle reference in 2006?
"Oh my God these jalapeno cheese fries are amazing."
-They were really good, Lovie. I recommend.
"Didn't Brian Griese win a national championship in college?"
-He did. But so did Craig Krenzel so don't take too much stock in that.
"I thought the Vikings had, like, the worst pass defense in the league."
-Now that's not fair to Rex. Minnesota had the SECOND worst pass defense in the league.
"I liked it when we played the Jets and Grossman never threw a pass more than five yards."
-Yeah, dems were the good 'ol days.
"Dude, you got a lemon in your beer? Who are you?"
-Lovie, Grossman is the lemon in our beer. The lemon in our beer.
posted by David Stassen at 6:44 PM
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