Week 14 Bears Recap: I'll Have The Mike Brown
I own four Bears jerseys: Payton home, Payton away, Singletary and my personal favorite, #58 Wilber Marshall. Wilber could not play in today's NFL because he could never make a paycheck big enough to cover the fines for illegal hits. The man just loved to deliver concussions. He would come in at a full sprint, lower his head and launch the crown of his helmet into a quarterback's jaw. Afterwards the QB would look like a WWF wrestler after receiving a match-ending sleeper hold: lights out. Wilber was as valuable a member of the 1985 Bears defense as anyone.
But as you may have noticed, none of my jerseys originated in the past two decades (same goes for my Bears memories). This Christmas I asked for a new Bears jersey and Sunday's drubbing at the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers proved what a wise choice I made when picking a current Bear to honor with a place in my extensive wardrobe.
I asked for a Mike Brown (sounds like a strange German fetish, but I just want the jersey). What's that, you say? You didn't even see #30 on the field Sunday? He must be so bad he's a bench player?
No no. Brown didn't travel with the team this past week in order to rest a calf injury. So what happened? The Bears gave up 180 rushing yards, couldn't wrap up a ball carrier and generally played as if the lice in Kyle Orton's throat hair had infected all of them.
Not only is Brown the clichéd "emotional leader" of the team, he's also the strong safety who acts as a fourth linebacker, gets in the box to stuff the run and, oh yeah, owns the franchise record for defensive touchdowns. This season especially, any sort of touchdown record holder for the Bears should be on the field as much as possible. They should consider letting Brown punt the ball just in case the blocking breaks down and he has to run for it on fourth and 13. Three out of four times, he takes it to the house I bet.
From the first play of the game it didn't look like the Bears played with any fight. When the coaching staff decided to keep Brown at home, resting him before three straight conference games to end the regular season, it was as if the team already knew their fate was sealed.
Why do you think coach Lovie Smith didn't throw Rex Grossman in at QB in the second half? Why stir up the controversy in a game the Bears never planned on winning anyway? If next week, against the Atlanta Falcons and with Brown on the field, the offense is struggling and the Bears are still in it, then you might see Sexy Rexy. But against a desperate Steelers team and without our key defensive player, don't bring in Grossman when Orton might have fared better had the defense not put him in a cold, dark hole to begin with.
Who were the guys replacing Brown in the secondary anyway? Todd Johnson for one. I know that because his ENTIRE NAME was on the back of his jersey. That is always a bad sign. No good player ever has his whole name on his jersey. It's just so nerdy I can't believe a professional football player would stand for it. There was also a guy named McGown, who is of no relation to former Bears QB bust Cade McNown, but played equally bad.
So karma caught up with the Bears Sunday. Four forced fumbles and not a single one recovered. That's okay. It's good to sacrifice a little something to the football gods before the playoffs. I guess that's why Mike Tice and Vikings threw a couple of strippers overboard on the sex cruise. Just kidding.
If Brian Urlacher drives the Bear defense, Mike Brown is the ignition. And they never got started on Sunday.
How did I know all this when I chose my next jersey? I didn't. At least, not exactly. I knew that in 2001 when we went 13-3, Mike Brown was the guy that returned interceptions for touchdowns in overtime two weeks in a row. I knew that in week two of 2004, Brown picked up a fumble at Lambeau field, went 96 yards for a score to help beat the Packers, but tore his Achilles later in that same game and the season was a disaster thereafter.
Until Christmas I'll continue to pay homage to the old school on Sunday's. After Santa delivers my brand new, crisp #30 (Size L. Got that, Mom?), it'll mark a new era in my relationship with the Bears. I'll be looking to the future. Or at least the present. Sweetness would be proud. And if the Bears do the unthinkable this season and go all the way, I promise not to get my next Bears jersey until 2025. Better make the Mike Brown a double-XL, Mom.
But as you may have noticed, none of my jerseys originated in the past two decades (same goes for my Bears memories). This Christmas I asked for a new Bears jersey and Sunday's drubbing at the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers proved what a wise choice I made when picking a current Bear to honor with a place in my extensive wardrobe.
I asked for a Mike Brown (sounds like a strange German fetish, but I just want the jersey). What's that, you say? You didn't even see #30 on the field Sunday? He must be so bad he's a bench player?
No no. Brown didn't travel with the team this past week in order to rest a calf injury. So what happened? The Bears gave up 180 rushing yards, couldn't wrap up a ball carrier and generally played as if the lice in Kyle Orton's throat hair had infected all of them.
Not only is Brown the clichéd "emotional leader" of the team, he's also the strong safety who acts as a fourth linebacker, gets in the box to stuff the run and, oh yeah, owns the franchise record for defensive touchdowns. This season especially, any sort of touchdown record holder for the Bears should be on the field as much as possible. They should consider letting Brown punt the ball just in case the blocking breaks down and he has to run for it on fourth and 13. Three out of four times, he takes it to the house I bet.
From the first play of the game it didn't look like the Bears played with any fight. When the coaching staff decided to keep Brown at home, resting him before three straight conference games to end the regular season, it was as if the team already knew their fate was sealed.
Why do you think coach Lovie Smith didn't throw Rex Grossman in at QB in the second half? Why stir up the controversy in a game the Bears never planned on winning anyway? If next week, against the Atlanta Falcons and with Brown on the field, the offense is struggling and the Bears are still in it, then you might see Sexy Rexy. But against a desperate Steelers team and without our key defensive player, don't bring in Grossman when Orton might have fared better had the defense not put him in a cold, dark hole to begin with.
Who were the guys replacing Brown in the secondary anyway? Todd Johnson for one. I know that because his ENTIRE NAME was on the back of his jersey. That is always a bad sign. No good player ever has his whole name on his jersey. It's just so nerdy I can't believe a professional football player would stand for it. There was also a guy named McGown, who is of no relation to former Bears QB bust Cade McNown, but played equally bad.
So karma caught up with the Bears Sunday. Four forced fumbles and not a single one recovered. That's okay. It's good to sacrifice a little something to the football gods before the playoffs. I guess that's why Mike Tice and Vikings threw a couple of strippers overboard on the sex cruise. Just kidding.
If Brian Urlacher drives the Bear defense, Mike Brown is the ignition. And they never got started on Sunday.
How did I know all this when I chose my next jersey? I didn't. At least, not exactly. I knew that in 2001 when we went 13-3, Mike Brown was the guy that returned interceptions for touchdowns in overtime two weeks in a row. I knew that in week two of 2004, Brown picked up a fumble at Lambeau field, went 96 yards for a score to help beat the Packers, but tore his Achilles later in that same game and the season was a disaster thereafter.
Until Christmas I'll continue to pay homage to the old school on Sunday's. After Santa delivers my brand new, crisp #30 (Size L. Got that, Mom?), it'll mark a new era in my relationship with the Bears. I'll be looking to the future. Or at least the present. Sweetness would be proud. And if the Bears do the unthinkable this season and go all the way, I promise not to get my next Bears jersey until 2025. Better make the Mike Brown a double-XL, Mom.
posted by David Stassen at 4:44 PM
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