Vikings Coach Mike Tice Has A Tiny Pea Brain

I hate Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Tice. Don't you? I mean, isn't he a total retard? I'm a Bears fan, so I guess I should be happy that he is still the coach of the Vikings and screws up a rival NFC North team on a weekly basis. But I just hate him so much I'd rather he not be in the league at all.

He keeps that pencil over his ear to try and trick us, make us think he is some sort of thinking man. But we know the truth. He is a real dunderhead. That's old school for fucking moron.

What is it about Mike Tice that sucks so bad? He's booming bass voice that reveals a real jock mentality for attempting to sound thoughtful while really just using polysyllabic words like "organization" and "football." Is it his tiny Cro Magnon-style skull that incites such anger in the masses? Or is it simply the fact that we all know no one as dumb as a career back-up tight end should be given all of the credit, money, and media attention that Mike Tice receives.

In conclusion, Mike Tice is a real piece of shit. How could you have Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss on the same team for six years and never accomplish jack squat? Thankfully, the Vikings come to Chicago this Sunday. We can expect the idiot parade, led by the grand pooba of dildo's, Mike Tice, to march into Soldier Field, drool uncontrollably, eat some non-toxic glue, and lose the game through horrible decision-making. Thanks, Mike Tice. You're the best. And by best, I mean the fucking worst.